It’s pretty hard to escape news about the Inquiry into Institutional Child sexual Abuse at the moment. For people who suffer from PTSD or complex PTSD as a result of child abuse this can be very triggering. There is lots of terrible news on the TV at the moment but they don’t all trigger the pain of child SA. Scenarios of mistrust can play out inside me over and over again. My internal moods are affected by whatever is the latest rumour about the future of the Inquiry. So I turn to social media to see what others are saying and this can trigger me even more.
So I’ve decided to write down my own thoughts and feelings about this point in history for people who were abused in the UK.
The first thing I want to say is that the I have not made any submissions to the statutory inquiry because it has mainly been set up to address the needs of people who were sexually abused in institutions such as schools, prisons, hospitals etc. This does not include me and I am quite happy about that. Every inquiry needs to set limits and the treatment of people who grew up in institutional care in the UK has been so terrible that I honestly believe they come first.
The UK ( and some of its former colonies ) have had a tradition of sending children from the poorest families and the richest families away to be educated in a way and on a scale that is unique in the contemporary world. The pitfalls of a such a system has to be investigated. The tradition of sending children away to be cared for, educated ( and in some cases abused ) in institutional and authoritarian environments has reinforced patriarchy in the UK and we can all benefit if it is investigated and prevented from happening in the future.
Investigating domestic sexual abuse needs a completely different approach ( for many reasons) I hope that this will be done in a different inquiry some time in the future.
However this doesn’t mean that I am not affected by news about the inquiry’s progress. I am. It affects my mood in a way that is common for people with C-PTSD.
So if I, as a person who has NOT made submissions to the inquiry, am so triggered by rumours of the uncertainty about its future, I cannot begin to imagine how people who HAVE made submissions are feeling at the moment.
So if there are people reading this who are feeling unstable as a result of reading about the future of the Inquiry, I want you to know that you are not alone. I hope that you can reach out and get some support.